When we hear: "That’s just the way I am", someone is usually telling us – "Get off my back" or "Accept me as I am."
Often it’s a response to criticism. It could be about chronic lateness, thoughtlessness, broken promises, physical or verbal abuse, or infidelity. Whatever it is, we’re asked to let it go.
In the end, though, this is a ploy to get us to lower our expectations based on the dubious idea that certain bad habits are an intrinsic part of character and therefore beyond our control. We’re expected to believe it’s foolish and futile to expect a person to change.
There are, of course, lots of things that are beyond our control: short stature, big bones, receding hairline. Fortunately, character is different. That’s completely within our control. The poor and the rich, the slow and the smart, the plain and the pretty all have an equal opportunity to become people of character.
Sure, character can be influenced by heredity and environment, but it’s determined by choice. No disposition, circumstance, or experience is so powerful that it forever fixes our character. That is never finished. It’s constantly shaped and sculpted by the choices we make to nurture or ignore our more noble instincts and to surrender to or overcome negative impulses and corrupting temptations.
When it comes to what we demand of ourselves or others, we should never lower our standards. Character is a function of choice. Weaknesses and bad habits are not excuses not to get better.
Adapted from Michael Josephson "reminding you that character counts!"
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I like this post. Most people seem to go through life either following habits or just reacting … This suggests that external factors have deeper resonance on our inner selfs that perhaps we realise.
All the best. Thanks for the insightful post.